My Last Post!

My Blog has moved. This blog is discontinued!

I hope to see you there.

Kind Regards
Bruce

More Blue Bull Bashing

Blue Bulls Bashing

Die oom, die boom en die bakkie

Click here to watch Die oom, die boom en die bakkie - English Translation: The old man, the tree and the bakkie.

A Uniquely South African method of tree-felling.

Enjoy!

Jet Assisted Take-Off

URBAN LEGEND! The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.

It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.

The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:

The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SH**."

Record JMeter Web TestPlan

These steps should help you to record a Test Plan for browsing a website.

• run JMeter
• add a Thread Group to the Test Plan
• add a Recording Controller to the Thread Group
• add a Http Request Defaults to the Thread Group
• add a Http Cookie Manager to the Thread Group
• modify Http Request Defaults:
• set protocol=http
• set server name=
• set path=/
• set port number=80
• add Http Proxy Server in Workbench
• set port :8999 (can be anything - but use the same one in your browser)
• set Target Controller ( Thread Group > Use Recording Controller)
• save your Test Plan
• open your browser
• set proxy=localhost; port=8999
• click on Start in JMeter
• click on the links you would like to be recorded
• click on Stop in JMeter
• these links should have been recorded by JMeter
• reset the proxy settings in your browser

Apache JMeter

Apache JMeter is a 100% pure Java desktop application designed to load test functional behavior and measure performance. It was originally designed for testing Web Applications but has since expanded to other test functions.

Apache JMeter may be used to test performance both on static and dynamic resources (files, Servlets, Perl scripts, Java Objects, Data Bases and Queries, FTP Servers and more). It can be used to simulate a heavy load on a server, network or object to test its strength or to analyze overall performance under different load types. You can use it to make a graphical analysis of performance or to test your server/script/object behavior under heavy concurrent load.

Netbeans 6.0 IDE

NetBeans 6.0

The NetBeans IDE is a free, open-source Integrated Development Environment for software developers. You get all the tools you need to create professional desktop, enterprise, web and mobile applications, in Java, C/C++ and even Ruby. The IDE runs on many platforms including Windows, Linux, Mac OS X and Solaris; it is easy to install and use straight out of the box.

The 6.0 release includes significant enhancements and new features, including a completely rewritten editor infrastructure, support for additional languages, new productivity features, and a simplified installation process that allows you to easily install and configure the IDE to meet your exact needs.

NetBeans IDE 6.1 Beta Blogging Contest
NetBeans IDE 6.1 Beta is now available to download and preview. We’re pretty excited about some of the great new features, but we want to know what you think.

Download the NetBeans IDE 6.1 Beta 1 and check it out for yourself. After you have a chance to test the Beta, we want you to tell the world what you think.

Whatever your experience is in using the NetBeans IDE, post a blog about it and tell everyone. Our judges will review all blog submissions and select 10 winners to reward a $500 American Express Gift Certificate. The top 100 blogs will receive a NetBeans t-shirt.

Awesome Photo

Hurricane Isabel off coast of North Carolina from oil tanker - 2003

Retirement in Alaska

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

"Name's Cliff, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00 ."

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you."

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'."

"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em".

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too."

"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."


"More'n likely be some wild sex, too,"

"Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."